Do you find yourself?
•
Being
exasperated and as a last result shouting, “Can’t you just go to bed, sit
still, do that match problem, get dressed for school?”
•
Having
to come to the defense of your child while trying very hard to be respectful of
education experts?
•
Starting
over every single year with a new teacher that implies that you think your
child is perfect and go three-quarters of the school year to come to the
conclusion that you do know your child's needs better than they do.
•
Feeling
like you’re hitting your head
against a brick wall as teachers continue to say that your child's behavior is
not acceptable, and implying that it’s your
child's fault, and being unwilling to look at all of the factors in the teacher
handbook that outline 9 out of 10 factors impacting behavior have to do with
learning environment, teaching style, learning style, etc.
•
Frustrated
at the lack of knowledge, resources, flexibility and complete unwillingness to
focus on meeting the needs of your children instead of proving that their
system works.
I used to
think I was the only one with a child that could be described in this way. That is until I started talking with other
parents. Not so surprising I guess is
the fact that the schools themselves do not share the number of concerns
expressed by parents when it comes to schools not meeting the needs of their children. Perhaps that’s by design. One parent sure feels pretty powerless to
take on a school system on their own.
As
special and brilliant as you know your child is, you have no doubt realized
that some of his behaviors are obstacles for him/her socially and
practically. You’ve seen them struggle with transitioning from one thing to
another. You’ve seen them struggle with making and keeping friends of
their own age. You’ve seen their black and white mindset result in extreme
happiness some days and extreme negativity on other days.
I have
come to learn that all of the disorders that are so much a part of our lives
today – ADHD, sensory integration,
autism, asperger’s and others – are all neurological in nature and have to do with an
imbalance between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I’m going to explain this in
parent talk, but you will want to learn more about this in the book DisconnectedKids, by Dr. Robert Melillo, Creater and Cofounder of Brain BalanceCenters.
1.
The
right hemisphere of the brain is where things like creativity, comprehension,
and understanding social context live.
2.
The left hemisphere of the brain is where
things like math, reasoning, logic and reading live.
3.
Everything
we do utilizes both hemispheres of the brain.
4.
If one
hemisphere is overall significantly higher or lower than the other, then things
come out wrong.
5.
When
there is an imbalance between the hemispheres, the stronger hemisphere is
dominant and the weaker side gets weaker because it’s not being used enough.
6.
Because
of the imbalance, the brain and metabolism have to work very, very hard, likely
leading to deficiencies in vitamins, minerals and amino acids, which impact
further how the brain works.
7.
Core
strength of the body and central nervous system likely are weakened for the
same reason.
My son as an example:
- My son had a weaker left hemisphere, but it was pretty much where he should be for his age, excepting a couple specific areas within the left hemisphere. This manifested as difficulty making friends within his peer group, an inability to screen what came out of his mouth for example.
- My son’s left hemisphere was actually way ahead of his peer group. He could read like a 17 year old (he was 11), but he could not comprehend like a 17 year old. He could do complicated math problems in his head, but he couldn’t necessarily use a specific method and show this on paper.
- While we thought our son was getting the same nutrition as our daughter, he had not gained weight for three years. It turns out he had significant deficiencies in certain vitamins, minerals, amino acids, etc.
- While my son was extremely active, skateboarding, biking, amazing short spurts of energy, had been practicing Tae Kwon Do for four years, he lacked endurance and could rarely make it to the car as we walked as a family from an event.
The solution:
My mom
had been telling me about the Brain Balance Centers for two years. Last year, when my husband and I were at our
wit’s end, I went to see Dr.
Jeremy Fritz, who runs the Brain Balance Center in Mequon. He drew pictures for me that explained what I
just shared above, and it just made so much sense. There just had to be a reason and there had
to be a solution.
We
completed a comprehensive assessments, which included all the usual
questionnaire for ADD, ADHD, autism, asperger’s, an assessment of specific
areas of the brain in both hemispheres, an assessment of core strength and
finally, a lab test of blood for a comprehensive assessment of his health.
We
decided to try the Brain Balance therapy, consisting of 36 one-hour sessions
over 12 weeks, strict nutrition program and a home therapy component. At the Brain Balance Center, the weaker parts
of my son’s right hemisphere were
stimulated through visual exercises, physical exercises as well as academic work. At home, we did eye exercises, core
exercises, music therapy and stuck to a very strict nutrition plan.
Initial Results:
1. My son gained five pounds within three weeks, which said to me that he was actually malnourished, which definitely would impact his brain performance.
2. Half way through the sessions, I noticed some things that would be very subtle for other people, but were a big deal for my son. For example, in class, when my son shuts down, he shuts down. He could be half way through a worksheet, and just not be able to make himself finish. Typically, when his teacher would address this with him, he would immediately become defensive and possibly walk out of the class. After 18 sessions of brain therapy however, he began being able to slow down and think and plan. When this scenario happened again, he actually realized himself he wasn’t able to complete his work, but then he decided to come back later and finish. Another example. My son was part of a threesome of friends. He had always been very easily embarrassed and couldn’t not read social situations very well. He would often come home and blow out of proportion something a friend said and exclaim that he didn’t have any friends. In this instance, one of the friends said something that typically would have hurt my son’s feeling causing him to come home and declare he had no friends. But this time, after his friend said he was kidding, he thought about what his friend had said, and replied, “You know, that’s not really funny.” The three of them continued playing. These two examples were really huge successes at the time.
3. Therapy ended this past June, and my son started 6th grade. He looked at sixth grade as his blank slate and new start, and we made sure that the middle school (Whitefish Bay Middle School is fantastic!) would treat him that way. Unlike the past five years of his life, he looked forwarded to school, and he actually ran home after his first day shouting, “I love school!” The next day he said, “Ryan and I decided that we’d rather be at school than home sick sitting on the couch bored.” I just wanted to cry. I hadn’t realized how much I had internalized my son’s unhappiness over the years. It’s now five weeks into the school year, and we’re getting reports from his teachers about how well he is doing, how engaged he is, he’s taking responsibility for his homework almost every night, he’s made several new friends, he said yesterday that one of the teachers “got kids,” he’s thinking about joining student council. He is a completely new person, having kept his wonderful personality, unique curiosity, brilliance and empathy, but gained self control, ability to understand social situations, reflect on things, and o yes, he’s getting awesome grades.
I’m writing about this, because I guarantee 99% of you have
never heard of this. You may be seeing
psychologists, psychiatrists, giving your child medication and at the same time
consoling your son that he can get through this part of his life. There’s no reason to continue the
insanity.
I’m on a mission to bring this important information to
everyone who needs it. My second goal is
to figure out how to bring the therapy to people in a way that is
affordable. My third goal is to bring
this education to schools and teachers who are not addressing the real needs of
kids like my son. They don’t fit into special education programs – they’re smart.
